Cold Remedies from Outer Space

Drink sassafras tea to shorten the length of your cold.
· Or try this indian cure, slice some onions and then make them into a necklace.
· The number one grandma cure is chicken soup. (Add some garlic cloves!)
· An Arabian cure is to eat pomegranates.
· The Russians recommend drinking an ice-cold glass of vodka with two teaspoons of black pepper! Whooa, that should unclog that stuffy nose!
· This next tip was sent in by Burrell Webb from Eugene, Oregon; "From the deep, dark recesses of my memory, I recall my mother using a salve made of kerosene and lard on us kids for any flu or cold like symptoms. I have since heard that researchers have discovered a strong medicine made from kerosene. I have to admit that as a child it seemed to work." Thanks for the swell remedy Burrell!
· Elaine Miller writes; "Garlic contains a natural antibiotic. When anyone in my family comes down with a cold or infection of any kind, I chop up one large clove of garlic, and mix it on a spoon with honey. We swallow it down with a few gulps of water. Don't chew! I've known many, many families who swear by this remedy. If you normally have a low fiber diet, though, it can cause diarrhea, but cleaning out your system is a benefit!" Thanks Elaine!
· Katriona from Australia writes; "A good way to get rid of a cold is to cut up some garlic and ginger into a cup. Get enough so that the cup is about 1/4 full. Add half a lemon (diced) and fill with hot water. Stir and let set for 1 minute. Strain and add honey for taste. Drink and go straight to bed. This always works." Thank you so much for sharing Katriona!
· And last but not least, my favorite old time remedy for the common cold: Supplies needed for cure; a four poster bed, a bottle of whiskey and one hat. The cure; Hang your hat on the bedpost at the foot of your bed. Get into the bed and drink whiskey until you see two hats!

Lola’s Revenge Cure for those who are forced to go into work while sick, in order to ensure other idiots at office don’t burn the place down. In a few easy steps you can feel better. (Well, if not actually better, at least vindicated for having to come into the office)

1. Secretly cough on all of the phones they aren’t answering when they’re not looking
2. Place your used Kleenex™ all around their desks
3. Obtain a small bottle of brandy to sip on throughout the day – add honey to help ease your throat 4. Demand that someone bring you a pair of fuzzy slippers and a throw to wrap around yourself.
5. If you have a television somewhere in the office, insist that all channels be turned to soap operas so you won’t miss your “stories”, as my grandma used to say
6. Every time someone starts to speak to you, or to someone on the phone (which as mentioned before, no one is answering), cough as loudly as you can.
7. Start drinking as much water as possible, because with the cocktail of OTC/Homeopathic cures you've been taking, you need some diluting action. Fast.
8. Go ahead and call Poison Control because you drank your water with some Scotch in it. They should be there anywhere from 8 am to 4 pm